He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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