I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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