whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize