I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nutella sex= disaster
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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