How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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