she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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