I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
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She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
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We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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