So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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