i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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