i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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