How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize