maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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