somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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