I hate your face
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize