Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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