I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there was a trapeze. enough said
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
