We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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