like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
