it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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