I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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