So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
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Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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