how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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