this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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