Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize