oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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