Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My room smells like vodka and shame
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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