It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize