My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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