What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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