Say something about gay babies.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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