i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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