You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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