i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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