Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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