sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize