??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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