Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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