Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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