Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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