hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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