Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize