U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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