no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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