please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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