Duck Duck Cougar?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
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