When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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