Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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