Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize