I just cut my nipple shaving
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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