Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's never too late to be topless.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize