listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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